I’m turning 40-something this week and boy do I feel old. It’s true what they say – things start falling apart in this decade, and I’ve had a writing-induced shoulder problem since I turned 40 to prove it. Yes, you read that right – writing induced. I’d have felt better if my physio told me it was from lifting weights or doing HIIT, but no, it’s from bad hunching posture while typing. So now I have to take typing breaks every 20 minutes (I have to set a timer) and it took me a year to get back to lifting the equipment at the gym like I used to in my 20’s and 30’s. A year!!! God knows what other things fell apart during this time. Anyway, this, and other strange physical ailments seem to be presenting themselves more regularly. The other day my ankle clicked when I put on high heels. I mean c’mon, I know I don’t wear them often but really? No wonder people have a mid-life crisis - it’s straight out rebellion because your body doesn’t co-operate. Of course, you have to act out in other ways!
Another symptom of my ageing and rebellion/mid-life crisis is that I seem to be (my) birthday averse. People, including my husband and kids, keep asking how I want to celebrate and it’s hurting my brain to think about it. To be honest, it doesn’t matter if it’s just another day, but I know it’s a big deal for the kids and friends get excited too. I get that, because I enjoy celebrating other people’s birthdays, plus it’s not like I don’t enjoy going out for a lunch or dinner or even some dancing. It doesn’t have to be a birthday thing ya’ know? The birthday is just the excuse to do those things. So, I prefer to focus on my younger daughter’s birthday, as she turns 3 years old the day after my birthday.
I was in a conundrum about what to do for her. Now that she’s older, she knows what’s going on in terms of parties, balloons and cakes (she chose Dora). She also surprised us by asking for ‘boogie woogie’ (dancing must run in the family) and ladybugs in attendance ‘peeleese mommy!’ While she’s definitely much clearer than I am about what she wants, I’m not sure if she’ll get it because frankly, I don’t know where to mail ladybug invites. She also doesn’t like crowds, hence my conundrum. It’s not like toddlers are super-social but we do have many acquaintances, so I’ve ‘limited’ it to people she actually plays with. Still, if you invite person A who she plays with, then you feel obliged to invite person B, who she sees in the playground, because they may have heard about the celebration. The numbers also increase exponentially for toddlers because they can’t be dropped off and siblings might also come. So now, while we have locked down most of her requests (except the ladybugs), our ‘small gathering of 10 toddlers’ is now over 40 people. How did this happen? It’s partly my fault as I keep running into toddlers I’ve forgotten to invite, and they can’t exactly leave mummy and daddy at home. I hope she doesn’t freak out.
Then it hit me. When the kids are little, birthday parties are a way to get a bit of sanity and adult conversation. It’s not really about the child because what toddler likes sharing their toys with 15 other kids anyway? At the same time, what parent doesn’t appreciate going to someone else’s house, completely trashing it, getting their kid fed, then taking them home to nap? The parties are really about the hosts celebrating their ‘survival’ of the harrowing first years and the invitees getting a break from the Groundhog Day existence of their life. Realizing this makes me feel better about the upcoming birthdays. It doesn’t really have to be about us. I’m not saying I’m going to run around inviting random parents with toddlers as a form of community service, I’m just saying there can be a balance. Our toddler can enjoy her Dora cake/boogie woogie/ladybug happy-zone, while we (the adults) have grown up interaction to gain sanity. It will be a ‘win-win’ scenario! Well, at least until my shoulder gives out while I’m putting up balloons or something lame like that.
[Images via notonthehighstreet.com, istockphoto, pexels.com]
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