I hate Halloween. There, I said it, and I hope that doesn’t make me a Halloween-Grinch ‘cos I know plenty of people who love it. They get excited, carving pumpkins, hanging scary ghouls in their houses and planning their costumes, months in advance. The truth is, I only recently realized I didn’t like Halloween; in the past, my oldest child only wanted to dress up as a princess and it wasn’t scary. It was just a fancy-dress party and not really a big thing in the places we have lived. In Shanghai however, it seems huge, at least in our compound and at school. So, I’ve gone with the flow as some parts are admittedly fun for the kids, like ‘Trick or Treat’ and the ‘Booing’ game. But now, my daughter has grown up and into the scary stuff. She wants to be a witch. I guess while this isn’t so bad and could certainly be worse, I’ve realized I’m much more of a Christmas person – you know, the happy stuff.
So why do I hate Halloween? Firstly, I’m a big fat scaredy-cat. I have nightmares from horror movies, and scream my head off during Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean ride while my 8 year old laughs at me and shrieks with pleasure. Yes, I’m ‘that’ Mom, the embarrassing one – in a few years you won’t be able to take me anywhere. Last week, I jumped out of my skin and onto my friend while decoration shopping, because the shop guy clapped and a spider dropped on my head and a skeleton started laughing. No warning! I mean, that’s just rude. Who invents this stuff? I hate Halloween.
Secondly, I find it unnecessary that the ‘dark stuff’ is celebrated. I mean, I know there are forces at large, but I don't ‘get’ the desire to emulate them. (Probably ‘cos I’m a big fat scaredy-cat). I also don’t really like the fact that these images are etched in my childrens’ young minds (even though one of them may not be so young and can deal with it). What I do get however is that maybe I shouldn’t overthink it all, and perhaps I should continue to treat it as a big dress up party, because it’s fun! (Last year I was Beyonce and won a prize, and the scariest part of my costume was my wig that seemed to have a life of its own).
So, I’m in a conundrum this year because I’m having people over, twice! And I don’t like scary things. My ‘compromise’ is this - I will have the cute, friendly decorations I like, along with an Autumn theme. I found two giant stuffed pumpkins on sale the other day and they are now on my porch (actually I'm not sure if they are giant Mandarins leftover from Chinese New Year, but whatever). Our 2 year old will be a cute butterfly because I said so (and because she doesn’t know the difference). I tried to convince our 8 year old to be a ‘good witch’ - like Glinda in the Broadway musical Wicked, as we both loved that, but she wasn’t convinced. Aside from having to paint her green, I suspect she just wants to be a ‘normal’ witch and not some mutated creature her mommy needs her to be because she doesn’t like dark and scary things.
That, truly was scary for me. I had to give in to her and admit to myself that I was imposing my (literal) fears. I didn’t really know why I did that except maybe it became a battle of wills, and that’s wrong, especially when, in this case, the effect is non-consequential. She’s not thinking about the significance of the holiday, she just wants to dress up! So I’ve decided not to overthink it all, at least for now, and celebrate with friendly fun decorations. Maybe then, I won’t hate Halloween.
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