From a father and educator’s perspective, Leonard Stanley is here to give you some advice – whether it’s questions about school, your teenager, family life, expat life or if you just need a dad’s point of view. In Advice from Dad, he answers your tough questions and gets a parent’s perspective.
As Halloween approaches most people will attempt to tell you what to do and where to go with your kids. However, after talking with my children I decided that a slightly different approach was necessary. I asked my boys a few questions, and apparently I have the capacity to be embarrassing, so instead of a brief bit of information on what to do, my children offered me a lengthy list of what NOT to do! I’ll spare you most of the details and just provide you with the most useful pieces of information on how to best celebrate ‘ShangHalloween’!
No Fruit or Healthy Snacks!
Over the summer my wife decided to switch her diet – eliminating sugar and transitioning to veganism. And I guess you know what that means, her decision became our decision. Awesome, right?! Anyway, as Halloween approaches our kids reminded us that sometimes rules are made to be broken. This mandate may also have had something to do with the fact that they did not want to be known as the house in the compound that hands out the healthy stuff. Fair enough! They can indulge in the sweet sin of sugar and we can help them maintain their reps as cool kids on the block just this once!
There will be plenty of time to watch what we eat in the remaining 364 days of the year. Halloween is all about fun, and a big part of it is because you get to consume a month’s worth of sweets in just a few days! As my children explained, “Dad, if you are gonna hand out fruit and healthy stuff we may as well turn our lights off and pretend we’re not home! No one wants a health lecture on Halloween!” Again, fair enough! Nevertheless, one exception that I will not be making is my rule about nuts. As a parent of a child with a peanut allergy, you always want to err on the side of caution. This goes for the candy you hand out and bring into your house. Inspect it to make sure it is nut free before you allow your kids to indulge.
This Night Isn’t Just About You!
For those of us, myself included, who refuse to grow up or just look for any excuse to wear our superhero costumes in public, we have to understand that this night is about our children. We can all pretend we’re dressed up to supervise our little ones, but deep down we enjoy the holiday as much as they do. Now to be clear, there is nothing wrong with enjoying Halloween, just make sure that you celebrate with them first, or better yet, find one of the many compounds around the city where the kids can travel around the gated communities in groups while the parents ‘celebrate’ with Bloody Marys and other festive adult beverages.
Especially as your children get older there is no need to walk from door to door with them; and honestly, I don’t really want to open my door to see a full-grown man in a Harry Potter costume. A tip for the parent whose child is not quite ready for a cell phone yet is to purchase a nice set of walkie-talkies that your child can carry around the compound. It is a win-win for everyone. It makes them feel cool and makes you feel comfortable.
“Hands off of Our Candy!”
This one may be the hardest one of all, but as my children told me, “We know exactly how many packs of M&M’s we had and now when candy goes missing you can no longer blame it on the dog!” So with that being said, looks like this year you are going to have to buy your own sweets! Happy ShangHalloween!
Leonard Stanley was born and raised in Washington D.C., and has lived in Shanghai since 2009 with his wife and two young children Kyle (12) and Christopher (8). Leonard teaches Theory of Knowledge as well as Language & Literature at the Western International School of Shanghai.
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