Questions to test just how much influence China has had on you.
1. Your family mostly eats food from…
a) the local wet market
b) Lianhua or Carrefour
c) City Shop or Sherpa’s
a) help her kill it and cook it
b) watch her cook it from the living room
c) freak out, it’s bird flu season and there’s a duck in your house!
3. The strangest place in Shanghai you’ve changed a diaper is…
a) what diaper? My child wears split pants.
b) in the back of a moving taxi, since my child isn’t in a car seat
c) in the grass next to the playground at the park
4. When you’re out with your children and one of them shouts, “I need to pee!” with no restroom in sight, you…
a) just let them go on the side of the street
b) look for the nearest tree
c) make them hold it until you find the nearest restroom
5. Your kitchen consists of…
a) a toaster
b) a toaster oven
c) a full-size oven
6. It’s Saturday morning, you’re still in your pajamas, there’s nothing to eat for breakfast and you decide to go out and get something, you:
a) head straight out the door, not bothering to change
b) leave your pajamas on, but wear a coat over
c) change your clothes
7. For special occasions, you’re most likely to give:
a) red envelope with cash
b) gift bag with present you bought on Taobao
c) a store-bought present wrapped and tied with a bow
8. When a Chinese grandma comments that your baby isn’t dressed warmly enough, you:
a) agree with her
b) debate with her
c) smile and walk away
9. At the dinner table, your family is most likely to put:
a) soy sauce on everything
b) chili sauce on everything
c) ketchup on everything
10. Your child was potty-trained at what age?
a) 18 months
b) 3 years
c) 4 years
11. When you cross the street you:
a) cross with authority; those drivers will avoid you if they know what’s good for them
b) cross when the people around you start to cross
c) wait for the light
12. When someone is talking with you and you want to reply in the affirmative, you:
a) make various “mm” noises, then add, "due, due, due"
b) nod
c) nod and say, “Yes, I agree”
13. When out at dinner with a group of friends and the check arrives, you:
a) insist on paying
b) break out the calculator
c) say you’ll expense it and ask for the fapiao
Give yourself 3 points for every (a) answer, 2 points for every (b) answer and 1 point for every (c) answer.
32-39 points = You’re very local. You’ve assimilated nicely.
26-32 points = Your local friends would be proud, but you still have a way to go.
Less than 20 points = Fresh off the boat. You’re living like you never left home.
