If you know anything about me it’s that I’m an extremely social person. When I first moved to Shanghai I was really worried that I wouldn't find my “niche” of people I could call really good friends - at least not like what I have back home. And although my home friends can never be replaced, I’m extremely fortunate to say that I’ve managed to meet and befriend a large group of amazing women (and men) from all over the world that I’ve gathered into a solid social circle!
But however good your vast amount of friendships can be there is something to be said about having a Shanghai Bestie. A Shanghai Bestie is one of those people you connect with on a whole other level beyond just friendship; whether it is the fact that not only do you get along well, but so do your kids AND husbands (SO HARD TO FIND), or whether you both really like a good glass of chardonnay together before 11am without judgement.
And often, meeting your Shanghai Bestie can be as simple as bumping into someone at Starbucks and both realizing that the barista gave you a cafe latte instead of a green tea latte (damn it Lily get my order right!) to stumbling upon one another at an infant playgroup both looking slightly haggard and like you haven't slept in 4 days.
Your Bestie understands you like no one else can in this city. They get the pressures, insecurities, and frustrations this kind of life can bring. They also commiserate with your first-world problems that your home friends just don't understand like when you could only get that garden-view villa in Thailand instead of the beach-view one - I know right!?!
My Shanghai Bestie Janet and I met online like any modern couple does these days. Initially connecting because we come from the same home town, we soon discovered that we also grew up in the same area. After being in Shanghai for 6 months, it was good to have a little connection to home and being able to say things like “the Danforth” and have someone know exactly what you’re talking about. We try with busy schedules including kids, work, and exercise (that last one may be a lie), to see as much of each other as we can always knowing that even though life keeps us running we’re only a text message away. And when we go on holidays the “NO I’LL MISS YOU MORE!!” are always a given.
So, if you’re still searching for that one true bestie to latch onto but haven’t found them yet - here are some tips:
- Put yourself out there. Write a post on a forum looking for someone with similar interests. Like to craft? Like to cook? Like to eat? Like all three things? Cause if you do, you and I can also be friends.
- Make an effort to have a deeper friendship. In such a transient society it’s really easy to not get too invested in a friendship because you know that other person could be gone at any moment. Instead, invite someone you really like out for a coffee or lunch and get to know them a little better than you would just passing by at school pickup. Even a brief Shanghai Bestie is better than no bestie at all!
- Lie in wait like a tiger in the night. Hey, sometime’s just letting your Shanghai Bestie find you is the way to do it. It’s destiny after all!
…I didn't expect that to sound so much like dating.
xoNiki
