Originally from the US, Joni Bessler and her family moved to Shanghai eight years ago when an unexpected opportunity came up for her career. Bessler worked for Booz Allen Hamilton for 27 years and retired with the company as a partner. Over her career she has moved to six different cities and was constantly going on business trips, all the while raising three children (now ages 12, 15 and 16) with her husband. In this interview, she reflects on having children at the height of her career, and how other women can cope with their demanding jobs and being mom at the same time.
Tell us about your career as a consultant.
My career was a little different than most consultants because I had chosen to move quite a bit. I had already lived in Atlanta, Singapore, Australia, New York and San Francisco before moving to Shanghai. Most consultants stay in one geographic area because that’s the easiest way to build a business, but my passion has always been travel and I was lucky that the company accommodated that.
Has flexibility always been important to you?
When I joined the company I was 24 and I don’t think it was ever a conscious decision at the time that I wanted to move so much. But the company was prepared to be flexible as long as I delivered. The biggest issue wasn’t that I decided to move around so much (which was atypical for a consultant); it was that I had three children during that period.
How did having children influence your career?
The reality is that if you have a child while you are working, there is a point at which you [must slow down] (and it doesn't matter how hard you work). It’s about ramping down [to have your child] and then ramping up again [with work]. Consulting also requires travel, so it’s really tough to do with kids and I used to bring them with me all the time. My husband by and large has been a stay-at-home dad, otherwise we just couldn’t have done it, especially since I had my first child at 42.
“I do think you can have it all, but you can’t have it all at the same time
So what have you been doing since your retirement?
Well, I didn’t really retire after Booz. We were going to move back to New York, but then I took on a role as the head of Avenues China (an American school) and was responsible for getting the school in Beijing launched. It was 24/7 all over again and I did that for almost two years. I am now thinking about opening my own business in education. I don’t think I will ever fully retire – I will always be doing something.
What is you advice to young women today?
First, remember you can’t have it all at once. This has been an interesting dialogue I’ve had with the women I have mentored over the years. I do think you can have it all, but you can’t have it all at the same time. Work on your career and realize that it will take a different pace if and at the time you decide to have children, or else you will be frustrated.
Second, find a mentor. You need someone to give you professional advice and you need someone to pull you up – this might not be the same person.
Lastly, I think you do best in your career if you are passionate about it, and if you aren’t feeling the passion then you need to think about what you’re doing. I think women can be more reluctant to take the risk and make the switch, maybe because they have more things to juggle. But if you aren’t happy, then figure out why and try something different.
