From a father and educator’s perspective, Leonard Stanley is here to give you some advice – whether it’s questions about school, your teenager, family life, expat life or if you just need a dad’s point of view. In Advice from Dad, he answers your tough questions and gets a parent’s perspective.
My child is getting to that age where peer pressure is becoming more common. What can I do to help him/her make good decisions?
Peer pressure is something that affects us all. It’s when members of your social circle attempt to influence you to do something that you otherwise may not have done. This can be as mundane as playing a game of soccer instead of basketball at recess, or as severe as smoking your first cigarette or having sex. Making some of these decisions on their own is already a challenge for teens as they try to figure out their identity, but once the added pressure from classmates to conform is introduced then making the correct decision becomes even more difficult.
A parent recently reached out to me for advice about his child who was struggling in a number of classes at the beginning of the year. It was not typical for this student to underachieve and the parent feared that his child was making decisions against his own interest in an effort to fit in. He wanted to know what he could do to prevent this and get his son back to his usual studious ways.
The bad news is, there is no way to prevent peer pressure from having an impact on a child’s decision making. However, the good news is that if you work to instill a sense of self-esteem and self worth in your child they will not need to look elsewhere for validation. Reassure them that no one is perfect and people make mistakes. Also let them know that it is impossible to please everyone. If you have to do something that you know is wrong in order for certain people to like you, then these are not your real friends.
Constant reminders like these will go a long way to build a habit of healthy decision-making. Children, like adults, will make mistakes, but the key is to get them to understand that they have to make their own mistakes and they shouldn't be negatively influenced by anyone for any reason.
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